[1969, a room in Southwestern Turkey. Female voice, upper class New York, mid-thirties, a little out of breath but tinged with excitement]
Darling. It’s me. I’m back. I’ve had such a few weeks… I’ll never begin to tell you. Wait, don’t touch me yet! I’m covered in dust and earth from the dig. No, I know you don’t mind that – but still. I don’t want you getting all covered. Alright then – just kiss me for now.
[She is kissed, and then laughs with delight]
You won’t believe the dirt that’s just rubbed off on you! Listen. Remember what I said to you a couple of years back? The messengers of Aphrodite – the dolphins leaping ahead of the caïque as we sailed round the tip of the Datça? You laughed at me then but they were guiding me, it’s true. Pointing me to the very bit of Knidos no one’s looked at yet. I couldn’t see it straight away of course, but now… Wait, let me get my boots off. Go on then, you do it, if you want. Feel some more of that sacred soil I’ve been rolling in!
[A little grunt as her boots come off]
So, I mean I know it’s taken me two whole seasons, but don’t you see? It had to wait till this year, this month – for the actual particular day for me to make the find! That’s right, June 20, the very same morning man stepped out and touched the moon, a woman reached out and found a goddess much closer to home, where she’s always been, in fact… Oh hang on, that’s one of those odd buckles, I’ll help you: there, you can take it off now…
[We hear a belt fall to the floor]
So anyway, the girls were all in their tents listening to the radio – of course I couldn’t ask them to miss the moon landing – but I just had to get moving, I was all stirred up by some strange conjunction in things, so I went with the super and we just walked across the site and got up onto the high ground on the westernmost tip and we looked back and then, my darling, I saw it! An outline, a soft curve in the ground, just as the ancient writers said and – oh, what are you…
[Another burst of delighted laughter]
You really can’t wait, can you! Oh, I know: you love a girl all hot and gritty after weeks away on a dig. Go on, then, start with my shirt buttons. But you have to listen as well. So we started digging and straight away I knew we had it, the structure: a perfect circle, no squares or angles like the rest of the site but all a beautiful roundness – the only true shape for a temple for the Aphrodite…
[We hear the shirt slide off and fall to the floor]
Oh that’s good, to feel your cool hands like that, after weeks baking in the sun… But isn’t it just…just amazing…to have uncovered it the way we’d imagined…The column drums are all Doric, just the right style, and spaced around the perimeter, so it’s exactly like in Pliny – the goddess could be seen from all angles. And we’re finding steps as well, on the east side and I’ll bet you anything they’ll be on the west side as well, so that confirms what Lucian says – you could approach the goddess from the front or behind, however you preferred to admire her…wait, the zip’s on the back, I’ll turn around for you…
[A zipper is slowly pulled down, and a skirt falls to the floor]
See how I’ve caught the sun all over? All in the cause of sacred Aphrodite! But wait till you hear this. Right there in the temple ruins…you’ll never believe…a marble plinth turned up, a real hefty one, perfect for the goddess as Praxiteles made her…no, I promise I’m not joking… just the right dimensions to hold her and the water pitcher as she drapes her dress over it. You want this off too? The clip’s broken, I had to make a knot, you’ll need to…that’s it…
[Her bra falls to the ground. A moment’s pause]
Sunburn, and a few amorous insect bites, but they’re not tender. You can touch. There. Yes, I’m completely convinced of it, the statue will be somewhere under our feet or just nearby. Because it has to be! You should have seen the other figures we found… A gorgeous marble Themis, life-size, and endless little votive pieces, so many women, and we kept digging them up, naked as the true original would’ve been. So from these I can already picture the details. Her breasts are like yours, darling, high and round with that east-west shape all the sculptors loved…no, don’t laugh! you know I’ll be proven right… When did you ever see the Aphrodite with breasts like…well, like the ones you’re holding now? And the fingers of her right hand will be floating, fluttering almost, over her…mound…of Venus…the way all the coins and the copies have shown it… Yes, yes, go on, there’s nothing else to take off, just help me step out of them…
[We hear the final item of clothing slipped off. Another pause]
There. Nothing hidden from view. Happy now? And we’ll see, my darling, we’ll finally get to see the buttocks of lovely Aphrodite Euploia, that every man was supposed to swoon over, whatever his predilections. And maybe there’ll even be a stain on the marble, left there by that smitten kid in the story…no, that’s just a little bruise I picked up, you can’t go a minute on that site without banging into a rock…and I’ll bet you anything you like her cheeks will surpass even the Kallipygos for their fullness and roundness, for each…perfectly weighted …promise… If you keep doing that, I’ll forget the rest…of my story…
[A brief sigh, followed by a pause]
Only now, I have to wait. Just as things couldn’t have gotten more exciting, I have to wait till next season’s dig. A whole year before I can get back to Knidos and uncover the matchless goddess to a disbelieving world! What will we do? How will we pass the time till I can be reunited with my lovely Aphrodite?
[In the silence we hear the sound of the sea against the Turkish coast]
homo monologous 