Edging It

[Geo (for George), British male in late 30s early 40s, dressed in holiday gear, waiting on the phone. He is healthy-looking, habitually tanned, although there is a curious dark smudge on one side of his face. He appears agitated, often fanning himself with his open shirt]

Pick up… please pick up..come on… June? June, thank Christ… Listen, no time for chit-chat, I’ve only got a few minutes on this thing… Who is it? It’s Geo, didn’t you recognize…? Yeah, I know this isn’t my phone… June, I’ve got like a couple of minutes, we’re all taking turns using this one phone bank… luckily someone had one… [Pause] Where am I? [Looking around him] It’s some big hotel…or office space…sort of a mix of both, I think… with a bar… we just got moved here… [Pause] All of us – me, the kids, all the other guests plus bus loads of other people… I feel sick, June, it’s like a horror film, but watching from the inside…

[To someone off-stage] Yeah, I’ll just be two more minutes okay… Speak English? [He holds up four fingers] Two…two..okay?

[Back to the phone] You didn’t see the news? Half the island’s gone up in a fireball, that’s the news. I know you’re miles away but how can you not know? [Pause] I’m sorry, June, it’s just [becoming emotional, his voice cracking] I’m feeling like a bit of a shit Dad right now, okay? [Takes a deep breath] I need you to put in some calls for me. My phone, laptop, all my stuff, it’s back at the resort, could all be gone in the flames now. I know it’s after office hours but I really really need your help, could you do this for me, June? [Pause] Thank you. Flights out of here, that’s the number one. There’s only one airline, you’ll need to move fast. Insurance as well, it’s the same as the company’s. And contact our legal, first thing, please. I know they’re business not personal but I want answers, June. No one here has a clue what’s going on. No one warned us. No one sounded the alarm till the air was an oven and ash was coming down over the poolside. We were running then walking, for miles. I want some answers. What the kids just went through, what was I supposed…? [Becomes emotional again, then continues numbly] They could hear the animals screaming from the forest. Can you imagine what that did to the youngest?

[Looks around him, holds up three fingers to the off-stage person]

The flight’s for three of us, me and the kids. [Pause] No, the wife stayed at home. We had a big bust-up right before the trip. She flat-out refused to come and she’s sulking at home. [Pause]Because… [takes a deep breath] Because I didn’t get the cheaper tickets when I could’ve. [Pause] Yes, I know that’s what I did before. It’s what I’ve done every time, okay? I know the system, I know the websites. If you wait long enough, if you hold your nerve, there’s always a last-minute price drop. [Pause] Alright, ‘usually’. Point is, most of the time it works, so I’ve stopped telling her about it. [Pause] No, I’m not ‘edging it’, June… Well, maybe I am, but if you don’t take a few risks, you’re never gonna be much cop in business… And this time, no, it didn’t pay off. And now my eldest is pissed with me because the prices were so steep I couldn’t do the carbon offset. [Pause] You know that one-off payment thing, every time you take a flight or whatever. God knows what they do with it, plant a tree or something, but that stuff’s like religion to her. So that screwed things up as well, I barely managed to get her on the plane.

[Turns and looks around him]

June, we’ve got to make this quick, there’s gonna be a fight if I don’t get off this thing soon. Because of the tickets there’s not enough in my account, so you know where I need you to go, right? [Pause] Yes, I know it’s the company’s money, but it’s my company, and right now I don’t give a damn, I want the kids and me off this island. We’ll worry about the audit later. [Pause] I know. What more can I say? June… it all happens so quickly, you know? That’s what’s so strange. Everything’s normal, you’re in the routine, you’ve got the familiar sun on your arms. Then just like that, you can’t see the hillside for fire. It just…happens.

[Holding up his hand to the off-stage person]

June, I’ve gotta run. The eldest’s got her phone. Her mum blocked it for outgoing abroad and I don’t know the password, but you can still call in. Tell her when you’ve booked us. I’m trusting you, June. And June, thank you, thank you so much.

[Rings off. To the off-stage person]

Alright, alright, I just need one more minute, okay? One minute, to call my daughter. No, this is urgent. [With practised aggression] One. Fucking. Minute. Okay?

[He dials]

Darling? It’s Dad. How is she, still asleep? Good. Listen, Dad’s getting it under control now. No, I didn’t call Mum, I called June, she’ll have it sorted much quicker. We’re on our way home, I promise. And listen, darling, I know what you’re gonna say to me, and I want you to know that I get it, alright? I really, finally get it. When we get back, I’ll start with some big offsetting stuff, you know, we’ll tot up all the holidays, all the plane flights, all the rest of it. Trust me, I know when to make the right call, I know when to move, okay? And now that I can see what you’re talking about, now that I’ve seen the smoke, seen the flames and all of it, now there’s something to properly get worked up about, now is the time to do something, now is when to jump into action. Okay? [Pause] Give her a hug for me. I’m on my way back from the lobby. Your Dad’s got it under control now.